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After last year’s Florida Basketball Drinking Game took the nation by storm (OK, the Gator Nation. OK, like 4 of my friends), I decided to alter the rules for the roster turnover, and introduce some new rules. I’m still open to adding others, but I have had access to very few of the games considering I live in Texas, and attending that nail-biter against Presbyterian over the holidays didn’t do anything to help my opinions on this year’s squad. Other than illustrating just how much Chandler Parsons lives to destroy shitty basketball teams. He was talking trash after dunking on people!
The basic premise of a drinking game (if you never went to college, and/or never watched the State of the Union Address) is to give you some basic reasons to raise your glass during the course of a game. So here are a few... 1 Drink: Someone uses the phrase “Macklin Effect”. A few of the announcers to date have had long, rambling material prepared on the “Macklin Effect”, and generally you get the same 2 or 3 prepared statements out of these talking-head types. I’m sure every one of them thinks it’s original, and doesn’t think you watched previous games when they are repeating the same thing over and over.
1 Drink: Chandler Parsons talks some trash. I’m not sure whether he will continue to do this against good teams, but he clearly loves the fact that he’s better at basketball than the guys on teams like Presbyterian. My brother made the comment that Parsons will just hang out at Southwest Rec for pick up games after graduation, on court 3. And just try to dominate and rub it in on his hapless opponents.
1 Drink: A carry is called against Shipman, Walker, or Boynton. There have been quite a few to date.
1 Drink: Someone says “Tim Tebow”. This is a permanent rule for life, as is “Brett Favre”.
1 Drink: Chandler Parsons commits a turnover. There’s a reason he’s known around these parts as “the Human Turnover”.
As far as which rules from last year we’re going to keep…
1 Drink: Billy Donovan is called “the Dean of SEC coaches”. This has been one of my rules for like 5 years now.
1 Drink: If Dan Werner misses a three-pointer. Just check out facebook for the reasoning behind this one.
1 Drink: Dan Werner ends up on the ground, for any reason.
Empty your glass: Billy D breaks a clipboard. This happens a lot when you're at the game, but TV doesn't always catch it. It'll get you so fired up, you'll probably do this instinctively.
6 Drinks: &Southeastern Conference& is spoken by announcers/coaches/whoever. This is a remnant of the rule I use during Monday Night Football (i.e. the 'when Jaws says National Football League'), but there's still a reason we chant 'SEC', guys. That's a drink for each syllable.
1 Drink, preceeded by a loving sigh: Anytime someone says 'Oh-Fours' or any of their names individually (or refers to Chris Richard or Lee Humphrey). If somehow Verne Lundquist is there, feel free to count 'Cliff Richards'.
Let me know how it works, and if you’d suggest anything different. Many of our conference games are on national TV, so anyone can play along these last few months.
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