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Florida Basketball Drinking Game |
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Written by James Brown
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Friday, 13 February 2009 |
I've made so many of these jokes while watching games, I decided to actually codify the rules to a Florida Gators basketball drinking game.
If you're not otherwise occupied on Valentine's Day, play along. The Gatorsfirst.com team certainly will be through the rest of the season, and beyond.
I've got a few old games on the DVR, I might give it a few extra tries and add some revisions. But here are the rules...
The basic premise of a drinking game (if you never went to college, and/or never watched the State of the Union Address) is to give you some basic reasons to raise your glass during the course of a game. So here are a few...
1 Drink: If Walter Hodge is referred to as 'left-handed' or 'the old man of the group'. This happened without fail last year, when we had exactly zero seniors, but this year they haven't been saying it as much. Or I've been muting Raycom more than usual.
1 Drink: If Dan Werner misses a three-pointer. Just check out facebook for the reasoning behind this one.
2 Drinks, then buy lotto tickets: Dan Werner makes a three. See above.
1 Drink: Nick Calathes goes behind the back at the half-court line, while bringing the ball up. I might have to cut this out if too many of you end up in hospitals.
1 Drink: Dan Werner ends up on the ground, for any reason.
Empty your glass: Billy D breaks a clipboard. This happens a lot when you're at the game, but TV doesn't always catch it. It'll get you so fired up, you'll probably do this instinctively.
1 Drink: Alex Tyus, with the sky hook. I actually started noticing this more after I started writing about how all of his points came on just hanging out by the rim and waiting for Calathes to drive, draw the D, and dish.
1 Drink: Hodge leaves someone wide open and they drain the 3. Alternatively, Hodge is all over someone, they don't respect him and drive anyways, and shoot over him easily because he's 4 inches tall. If guards on some of the Florida Gulf Coast-type teams we play don't respect his D, why should I?
6 Drinks: "Southeastern Conference" is spoken by announcers/coaches/whoever. This is a remnant of the rule I use during Monday Night Football (i.e. the 'when Jaws says National Football League'), but there's still a reason we chant 'SEC', guys. That's a drink for each syllable.
1 Shot: Chandler Parsons, made shot (dunks/layup/put-back excluded). If these are free throws, they should be Jager. It's worth noting you'd have been hammered at Vanderbilt, and thirsty every other game. My advice, don't pour the shots when he goes to the line. Trust me, you want the Jager ice cold when it finally happens.
2 Drinks: Chandler Parsons, missed dunk/layup/put-back. This might be cruel of me. But you guys like beer, right? I excluded free throws because then it would get out of hand.
1 Drink, preceeded by a loving sigh: Anytime someone says 'Oh-Fours' or any of their names individually (including Chris Richard or Lee Humphrey). If somehow Verne Lundquist is there, feel free to count 'Cliff Richards'.
Anyways, that's all I've got right now. I'll be editing as the season comes to a close, and hope to be able to launch a Gator Nation-wide phenomenon for the 2009 version. Sans-Hodge, of course, but that's OK by me. I'm open to alterations/suggestions and any tales of how it works out for you guys!
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Last Updated ( Saturday, 28 February 2009 )
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Discuss (6 posts)
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Florida Basketball Drinking Game
Feb 14 2009 00:58:19
1 drink for each time you can see a Billy D's pit stain, and a shot of whiskey for every time the Gators block a shot (you should still pass a breathalyzer). I like this drinking game a lot, although I disagree with the level of Hodge hatin' going on here. I think his defense is adequate.
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#2117 |
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Re:Florida Basketball Drinking Game
Feb 14 2009 06:11:50
I started off liking him. I even called him our 'Devin Harris', back when Harris came off the bench for the Mavs and brought quickness and such to the table.
But now, he doesn't bring much to the table. And I'm just bitter, because I feel like he could have accomplished more with his time here.
This isn't the same as hating Brett Nelson for turning in Teddy (and laughing when he got punched by LaDarius), or hating what Dupay as become because, really, what possible defense is there for a rapist.
Going from there, has the Swamp (bar, not the field) taken down the Dupay #5 jersey? If they haven't, I am not buying a single food/beverage from there ever again. And you shouldn't either.
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#2118 |
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Re:Florida Basketball Drinking Game
Feb 18 2009 19:45:36
Realized I forgot one:
1 Drink for someone calling Billy D 'the dean of SEC coaches'. Every game, without fail.
Also, I think the Chandler Parsons rules may lead to death. Enforce at your own risk.
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#2125 |
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Re:Florida Basketball Drinking Game
Feb 24 2009 14:19:56
We did this for the Vandy game, the one without Chandler Parsons trying to kill everyone playing the game...
Realized I said 'Nick Calathes behind the back' when I should have said 'between the legs'. He is incapable of dribbling up the court without doing it at some point, this guys handle the ball so much they get used to between the legs/behind the back stuff and it's almost a nervous tick or a habit where they have to do it to feel comfortable, if that makes sense.
Also, Kenny Kadji blocked two shots in a row. They don't sell liquor in Plano (where I live), so I avoided the Jager/Whsikey rules, substituting '1 Drink' for '1 Shot'. Good thing, as Parsons also hit two free throws in a row.
Also, I think this drinking game, given the last two shooting performances by Werner, made its way to the locker room. But then I checked the game log and Werner seems to be shooting a lot better from 3-point land in the O'Dome than on the road/neutral. So we'll see what happens tonight.
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#2140 |
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Re:Florida Basketball Drinking Game
Feb 25 2009 05:43:39
Take a shot every time LSU hits a ridiculous three pointer. Makes for a tough Ash Wednesday.
Did anyone notice you could hear "sucks to be a Florida Gator" on ESPN National Coverage for about five minutes.
This probably increased my hatred for LSU to above Tennessee or Miami-levels. Fuck LSU
My recap will go to presses tomorrow, I had a Hockey game tonight and a quiz tomorrow.
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#2141 |
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Florida Basketball Drinking Game
Apr 07 2009 04:07:33
Ok, as these guys are snipping the nets, CBS said that Werner Ladders
in the official ladder of the NCAA tournament. It got me thinking. How
worried is everyone that those ladders are going to somehow end up on
the floor? If so, that's gotta be an entire bottle right?
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#2312 |
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